Do you have questions about my services? Below is a list of commonly asked questions. If your question is not answered here, please feel free to use my contact page or give me a call.
What is Christian Conciliation?
What are the benefits of Christian conciliation?
What types of disputes can be resolved through Christian conciliation?
How expensive is Christian conciliation?
Can Christian conciliation be used to resolve legal disputes?
What are the major differences between mediation and arbitration?
How confidential is the conciliation process?
How does Christian conciliation differ from other types of mediation?
What are the limitations on a conciliator’s role?
Is Christian conciliation available only to Christians?
Should I talk with my pastor about using Christian conciliation?
What if the other party refuses to consent to conciliation?
What is Christian Conciliation?
Christian conciliation is a process for reconciling people and resolving disputes out of court in a biblical manner. The process is conciliatory rather than adversarial in nature – that is, it encourages honest communication and reasonable cooperation rather than unnecessary contention and advocacy.
Christian conciliation may involve three steps. Initially, one or both parties may receive individual counseling/coaching on how to resolve a dispute personally and privately using biblical principles. If private efforts are unsuccessful, the parties may submit their dispute for mediation, a process in which one or more mediators meet with them to promote constructive dialogue and encourage a voluntary settlement of their differences. Finally, if mediation is unsuccessful, the parties may decide to proceed to arbitration, which means that one or more arbitrators will hear their case and render a legally binding decision.
The term “conciliator” is used here to describe someone who is serving as either a conflict coach, mediator, or arbitrator. ꜛ
What are the benefits of Christian conciliation?
Christian conciliation promotes traditional values, preserves relationships, encourages beneficial change, avoids negative publicity, provides a positive witness, and is relatively inexpensive. In addition, when compared to litigation, Christian conciliation is less constrained by rigid procedures, thus often allowing more creative remedies and faster results.
Another benefit is that Christian conciliators have more flexibility than do civil judges when it comes to hearing testimony or reviewing evidence. Thus, if a dispute involves defects in the construction of a building or the repair of an automobile, a conciliator may personally inspect the building or drive the car. As a result of this flexibility, parties often feel that the facts and issues in the case are given a more personal review than would occur in a court of law.
Christian conciliation is especially beneficial for people who sincerely want to do what is right and are open to learning where they may have been wrong. Conciliators can help them to identify improper attitudes or unwise practices, to understand more fully the effects of their decisions and policies, and to make improvements in their lives and businesses that will help them to avoid unnecessary conflict in the future.
As one party wrote after conciliation: The most valuable thing we received from Christian conciliation was sound advice seasoned with godly wisdom. I really believe that the right answer was attained. The answers you gave were not what I came to hear, but I knew they were right. You could not have been more helpful. Our only regret was that we waited much too long to come to you. ꜛ
What types of disputes can be resolved through Christian conciliation?
Christian conciliation has been used to settle a wide variety of disputes, including family, personal injury, church, landlord/tenant, employment, contract, real estate, creditor/debtor, and professional conflicts. ꜛ
How expensive is Christian conciliation?
Christian conciliation is usually less expensive than litigation.
For fees click here. ꜛ
Can Christian conciliation be used to resolve legal disputes?
Yes, but conciliators do not provide people with the kind of legal advice and advocacy they would obtain if they hired a personal attorney. Instead of representing one person against another, conciliators work with and for all the people in a dispute to help them find a mutually satisfactory agreement. Therefore, if individuals are concerned about their legal rights, they should consult with an independent attorney who would be willing to accompany and advise them during the conciliation process. ꜛ
What are the major differences between mediation and arbitration?
During mediation, the parties retain control over the final outcome, and the mediators act only as facilitators. When a case goes to arbitration, the parties are legally obligated to abide by the arbitrators’ decision.
Another difference is that arbitration deals primarily with substantive issues; that is, it establishes facts and determines rights and responsibilities. In contrast, mediation deals both with substantive issues and with personal and relational issues.
To put it another way, while arbitration determines what people must do as a matter of law, mediation helps them to see what they should do as a matter of conscience. (After an arbitration decision has been issued, the arbitrators may address behavior and attitudes they observed in the parties during the conciliation process.) ꜛ
How confidential is the conciliation process?
The parties and the conciliators must agree at the outset that with few exceptions the conciliators will not be asked to divulge information outside of the conciliation process or the ecclesiastical structure of the parties’ churches. In particular, they may not be subpoenaed to testify in subsequent legal proceedings. The parties are required to commit to not divulging information to people who do not have a necessary and legitimate interest in the conflict. ꜛ
How does Christian conciliation differ from other types of mediation?
Christian conciliation is more values-oriented than most other types of mediation. While all mediators will work to help the parties come to a voluntary settlement, many mediators will be reluctant to go beyond this, especially if doing so would require that they evaluate others’ attitudes and behavior from a moral perspective.
In contrast, Christian conciliators make it a point to draw out the underlying reasons for a dispute, sometimes referred to as “matters of the heart.” Believing that God has established timeless moral principles that he has recorded in Scripture and written in our hearts, Christian conciliators will draw the parties’ attention to attitudes, motives, or actions that appear to be inconsistent with those standards. This will be especially true with parties who profess to be Christians; anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ will be encouraged to obey his commands and behave in a manner that will honor him.
Most importantly, Christian conciliation focuses not only on what we should do (“law”) but also on what God has done and is doing for those who trust in him (“gospel”). God has forgiven our sins and made peace with us through the death and resurrection of his Son (Rom. 6:23; 1 Pet. 3:18). And he has given us the freedom and power to turn from sin (and conflict), to be conformed to the likeness of Christ (Eph. 2:1-10; Gal. 5:22-23; Rom. 8:28-29), and to become ambassadors of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:16-20). ꜛ
What are the limitations on a conciliator’s role?
Conciliators will not serve as religious investigators, prosecutors, or judges to bring before the general public issues that were not resolved within the ecclesiastical structure of the parties’ churches. Nor will they play a “public relations” role by making statements to the general public about a particular conflict. ꜛ
Is Christian conciliation available only to Christians?
No. Many people who do not profess to be Christians have submitted disputes to conciliation and have been pleased with the results. Christian conciliators evaluate each case on an individual basis, however, and may decline to accept a case if it appears that either party does not respect the Christian principles underlying the process. ꜛ
Should I talk with my pastor about using Christian conciliation?
Certainly. Jesus has given the church primary responsibility and authority for resolving conflict and alienation among Christians. In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus sets forth a process that involves private discussions, mediation, and authority to make a binding decision.
Christian conciliation is designed to serve the church as it implements this process. Therefore, I encourage Christians involved in conflict to turn first to their church leaders for counsel and assistance. Should Christian parties desire to submit a case to Christian conciliation, I will cooperate with their churches throughout the conciliation process. Therefore, if you are involved in a conflict and belong to a church, please encourage your pastor to review this material and call me to discuss ways we can work together. ꜛ
What if the other party refuses to consent to conciliation?
It is not unusual for people to have questions and apprehensions about using Christian conciliation, which, for many people, is a novel way to resolve conflict. In fact, sometimes the most challenging part of the entire conciliation process is simply getting both sides to come “to the table.”
If the other party initially refuses to consent to conciliation, do not be discouraged. Instead, continue to pray and seek the assistance of your church leaders, and encourage the other party to work with his or her church as well. For guidance specific to your situation, a Christian conciliator often can suggest ways to help persuade the other person to reconsider and give conciliation a chance. ꜛ
Adapted from Guidelines for Christian Conciliation version 4.6.1
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